The Cowtown Chronicles

Instructions: Today’s exercise is this: in five minutes, write as many beginnings as you can that have to do with food. Write one, two, eleven, whatever you can do. Again, by a “beginning” I mean anything from a sentence fragment to three full sentences, but no more than that per beginning.

Eggs don’t stick to painted walls, but they will stick to the ceiling.

The ancients talked about breaking bread with friends, but I have found that a fajita buffet is better at bringing people together.

David sat down to his usual lunch, a Cobb salad and a fifth of Beefeater Gin.

When cooking bacon, it’s usually best to keep the dogs outside.

Last night’s pizza hung around this morning like a girlfriend that wouldn’t stop calling, even after you’d broken up with her.

On my quest to find the best BBQ in Texas, I found myself in some unusual situations. Last week, for example, I stopped at a roadside hut surrounded by white supremacists. Bad company, but good BBQ. (Adapted from an interview with Matthew McConaughey in Men’s Journal.)

In beer, as in life, it’s best not to shake the bottle.

Meringue is the funniest food word I can think of. It’s important to have a list of funny words from different genres, like food. My favorite aviation word is “Bernoulli.”